There She Grows


As summer comes to a close, I’ve been thinking what this year’s theme is. It’s been a relatively quiet one for me. No fancy vacations, late night parties, road trips with friends,and certainly no steamy romance. I found myself longing for those things a bit as I scrolled through my social media. On the other side of that longing though. was an intense need for self preservation. I purposely kept social activity to a minimum, in an effort to take better care of myself. I started to feel myself wearing thin physically, emotionally, and mentally. I could barely answer texts or phone calls, I only left the house when necessary or on the few occasions I felt up to it. I did however, sign up for an adaptive yoga course. I love yoga because it’s soothing but still gives a good stretch.

I was recently recounting my uneventful summer and current happenings to a friend, when it hit me. The theme of my summer was growth. This past spring, I ended a couple of longstanding friendships. This prompted me to reevaluate other relationships and aspects of my life. I needed to retreat in order to understand myself and my role in the lives others. I had to remember who I am and what I enjoy doing. I also had to remind myself that reciprocity is key. One can only do so much before they get tired of not getting, at the very least, thanks in return. One of the biggest ways I grew this summer, was as a daughter to my mother. My grandmother unfortunately became seriously ill after having surgery. So much so, that she spent 5 days on life support. It was such a stressful and scary time. I did my best to give my mom the shoulder she needed to cry on. You never know how strong you are until you have to be strong for your parent(s). They’re people just like you and me, they can’t do it all. Fortunately, my grandmother survived and is back at home. It’s an immeasurable relief to us all.

Last but not least, there’s also been some physical growth. I ended up needing a remold of my OBSS seat. It’s just 2 inches wider than the original. However, that means we have to grow the frame of my wheelchair until we order a new one some time next year. OBSS molds usually last 5 years, as do most wheelchairs. I was 26 when I got my current chair. A lot has changed since then, including my body I’m now 31, and 10-15 pounds heavier. This bothered me quite a bit earlier this year but I’ve learned to make the most of it by watching my diet, exercising when I can, and finding clothes that flatter my figure. I’m getting comfortable in my skin again, and ready to start being social. Growth may be painful at first but the results are beautiful. I’ll leave you with a picture  of me from my birthday back in July, enjoy!

jess birthday

3 Comments Add yours

  1. chaneladdict81 says:

    Reblogged this on The Glitter Notebook and commented:
    Good words from my friend Jessica


    1. ottobockus says:

      Thank you for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. chaneladdict81 says:

        You are very welcome


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