Moving with kids…hard.
Moving with special needs kids…very hard.
Moving with two special needs kids while your husband is military…extraordinarily hard…but also amazing at the same time.
I won’t sugarcoat it: if you’ve ever had to move you know what a time-consuming, emotionally draining process this is. You have to cancel the internet, and cable, and your security system, clean the house and be ready for an inspection by the owner, or military housing, or apartment manager. And what stinks are all the small things you forget about. You basically put your whole life in a box and leave and just wait to restart it.
Doing this with special needs kids always adds an extra…we’ll call it spark of insanity. Not only do you have to worry about doing all the regular things with kids such as dis-enrolling them in school and changing doctors. You have to worry about ABA therapy, and early intervention, calling and making sure that you can keep getting your 2 year old’s Pediasure delivered because it’s high calorie and not available in the store. You have to make sure that you have a copy of the latest IEP and IFSP. You make extra doctors’ appointments and get handwritten prescriptions just in case you need refills while traveling because you know that you can’t just buy seizure medicine over the counter.
You also worry about packing medical equipment and calling the hospital you will be going to and making sure they have all the services you need.
And even after all that is done, you have other worries.
What if Connor or James has a seizure while on the road? What if Connor loses his mind because we are ending his routine?
What if Connor and James don’t understand that Daddy has to go away for school so we are going to stay with Grandma and Grandpa?
What if something happens to my husband while I’m not there to help him? What if something happens to my kids while my husband isn’t around?
The truth is: something is bound to happen.
My husband Kevin hurt his back while he was in school, and even though he was fine and just needed a weekend to rest and heal, I was constantly worried about him because I wasn’t in the same state.
Connor did just fine while we were with my parents and actually didn’t even make a big deal about Kevin being gone because he was so preoccupied with swimming in the pool and eating watermelon and going camping and playing with my parents’ dog.
James did just fine as well. I was very worried that he would have a hard time adjusting to Kevin when he got back, but he didn’t. He cuddled right up to him just like he always did.
I think I had a harder time without my husband than my kids did, and that’s okay. I’ll gladly be the one with separation issues if it means my kids are adjusting and happy.
Ah, adjusting. Did I say they adjusted well? That was true, until we got here. We ended up checking into the hotel around midnight. Connor didn’t want to sleep. He was out of the car, and he wanted to talk, play, and socialize.
The next few days, Kevin was supposed to check into school, and after that school would be starting for Connor, so we needed to look into getting him registered, all while trying to find a place to live.
We thankfully got a place in military housing, after about three weeks of being crammed into a hotel.
Great. A place to live. One less thing to worry about.
Now, let’s get Connor registered.
It seemed that things were chuggin’ along.
Then we got the news that Kevin’s school had been cancelled.
Kevin has leave! Yes let’s take some leave, spend some time as a family, and try to relax until all the chaos starts. Then we’re told that after leave Kevin may be leaving, out to sea…So now I’m starting to panic a little more. Whenever I start feeling anxious, my brain decides it’s going to run 50 thousand miles an hour. Thankfully, my amazing husband knows when this is happening and helps me relax.
Regardless, it’s been rough. Here we are, about a month later, living in military housing, no household goods, Connor is in school, Kevin is working and I’m still trying to get caught up on everything else.
So for now, I’m going to go, snuggle up with my children, try to watch a DVD on my laptop that my friend is letting me borrow and try to relax before we start all over again tomorrow with work, and school, and therapy, doctors, appointments, medicines, and just trying to get a grip on still not being settled in to one place.